im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize