fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
