I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
