wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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