glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
