On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Pants are for mortals
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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