tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she told me i tasted like america
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
