The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize