she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
