Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
