Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
