come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
