we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
