Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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