Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize