3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
