You're so nebulous sometimes
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
