so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
