I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
