I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
