I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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