Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
