Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
