IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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