my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
