Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
