I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
