yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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