they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
is wine microwaveable?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
