I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
