Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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