My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
