Yo dont text me then not text me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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