just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize