Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
