In the future we'll all be gay
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
