I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
