i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
