Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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