Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
