He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
