I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
