Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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