I feel like I'm in dance class right now
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
