My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
