doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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