I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
