i'm lost and i look like a hooker
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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