My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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