Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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