All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
