when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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