I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
