Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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