You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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