Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
