I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
