i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
