I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize