i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
