also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
tell me about the eggs
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