last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
