remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
