David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
