and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
