i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
