How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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